A Short Eva Tale
by Organised Kaos
Summary: Something short and silly. Have a read for relaxing, it's kind of fun


Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion and I probably won't ever will.

An Eva Tale  
A non serious fic by me, Organised Kaos formerly Shinji Yagami

Once upon a time there was a beautiful prince-uh-ess, with pale white skin, ebony black hair and eyes as blue as the deep ocean.  
  
One day his-uh crap-her evil stepsister/mother witch rolled in one kicked our hero--ine out. Turning huffily, out anatgonist shut the door on our poor protagonist. However bad karma must happen to bad people so when our evil witch slammed the door shut, her hair the colour of red flames got caught in between the jamb and the door.  
  
Loud screeching like those of Harpies and curses of those of sailors and the barbaric tongue of the Germanic tribes scared away all the animals/Angels in a 25 mile radius. It also scared away our timid uh-princess.  
  
The princess stumbled into the Black Forest and after four days of wandering, listening to his..dammit..her SDAT, he..um..._she_ stumbled upon a strange house, in the shape of a pyramid. As SHE (HA, got it right), collapsed at the front door of the house.  
  
There she stayed til morning, shivering from the cold and dew of morning, until the door opened and out tramped seven midg--(okay, okay I'll be politically correct!) height challenged persons of special stature. Their names were Doc Ritsuko Akagi, Grumpy Gendo Ikari (Hi dad! Go away, you're no son of mine. I hate crossdressers), Happy Kensuke Aida, Sleepy Misato Katsuragi, Bashful Hikari Horaki, Sneezy Maya Ibuki, Dopey Toji Suzahara.  
  
Unfortunately for our heroine, they didn't see him and trod over him on their way to work. Our heroine, curled up into a ball and cried, on the damp front door of the pyramidal house.  
  
After six hours of sniffling, our heroine finally gathered up the courage to crawl into the house whose front door was left open. Mainly because she really needed to go and if she left it any later those stains would never come out of her pretty dress.  
  
Long story short, when she was waiting for her dress to dry, she cleaned up the atrocious mess that was the inside of the strangely shaped house. She piled dirty clothes and washed them and hung them to dry with her pretty dress. She washed the dishes, cleaned away all the takeout boxes, disposed the blob that was digesting the beer in the fridge, vaccuumed, mopped, polished all the wooden furniture to the point where one could see their reflection, made the beds, and even made dinner for her unknowing hosts.  
  
Soon the seven vertically challenged persons came back to find our heroine sleeping in front of the hearth, with her pretty dress back on and properly ironed. They gazed in wonder as they saw the floor for the first time and had edible food that wasn't destroyed by Sleepy.  
  
They praised the gods for this blessing and quickly chained our heroine around the neck with a collar Grumpy had made for such an occasion. When our heroine awakened, she was shocked to find a collar around his-her HER dammit! neck.  
  
After Happy, Sleepy, Bashful, Dopey and Sneezy convinced her they weren't child slavers and that the collar was for her protection and so she wouldn't get lost, she smiled happily as she was accepted for the first time.  
  
To repay her hosts, she decided to work for them as a housemaid, cooking and cleaning diligently that even Grumpy approved. (BLEEEAAA!! OOC alert!)  
  
Yadda, yadda, our lovely heroine princess -now- housemaid, was somewhat happy despite the hard work.  
  
However the red haired bitch- oops I mean witch of a step mother/sister was disliking what she saw, a happy princess. She wasn't meant to be happy, she was meant to be sad, humilated and such, she ranted to nobody in particular.  
  
Hulking down, she began to plot for revenge with all the cunning her petty and malicious mind can bring to bear. After 0.02 seconds of this, she decided to stuff it and do it the old fashioned way.  
  
Putting on her old hag outfit she stole from Doc's mother, she went in search of the princess. After miles of hiking through the dark forest, which resulted in the destruction of several species of flora and fauna, she found the house in which the princess stayed in.  
  
She walloped the door once, in lieu of a knock and waltzed in like she owned the place. Spotting her victim reposing on the couch, lightly snoring. Smiling wickedly, she brought our her tool of vengenance.  
  
An apple. (Yes, an apple because she didn't have a waffle)  
  
With brute force inherent to her personality, she crammed the apple into the slightly open mouth. The heroine's eyes shot open in panic and her frail arms flailed wildly in panic. However our cruel and vindictive villain didn't let up until the apple was lodged in our heroine's larynx. The heroine's struggles quickly grew still and the redheaded bi...witch was satsfied in her triumph and walked away with her head high in the air.  
  
The End....J/K  
  
When the seven short statured hosts of the heroine came back, they were sad that the heroine was dead and that edible food wouldn't be available anymore. Out of respect they dumped her into a metal tube they had made, one with 01 painted on the side.  
  
They grieved for a day or two when a gallant knight rode up and wondered what the little people were doing.  
  
When her--eh--his red eyes fell on the white metal tube, she..dammit..he exclaimed that this was the most beautiful maiden that has ever lived and how did she die.  
  
The seven told her how they found the body lying on the couch with bruises and abrasions around her mouth and a large lump in her throat, meaning she choked to death eating an apple. Also they wondered how she..no..he could see throught the painted metal.  
  
The knight commanded the tube be opened so she can see this beauty in daylight. The seven did as they were told and opened the tube. Orange liquid that looked like Tang spilled out, revealing the heroine. The knight reached in an lifted up the heroine and for some inexplicable reason found her...himself (dammit get it right) kissing the heroine on the lips. Probably because Happy and Dopey pushed him (Yatta, got it right).  
  
Due to the force and angle of the fall, the knight fell onto the heroine in such a way it forced out the obstruction in the heroine's throat.  
  
The heroine choked as she gasped her first breath in days, slowly opening her eyes she looked up and found the face of her confused saviour.  
  
Her saviour with blue hair, red eyes and skin paler than his own.  
  
Her saviour spoiled the moment when he muttered an apology for not knowing how to feel and what to do in a situation like this.  
  
The heroine cried slightly and told her saviour to smile. Slowly as if her--dammit his face twitched and his mouth moved into a smile. A smile for the heroine.  
  
Needless the say the heroine was overcome and fell in love with the knight.  
  
Together they rode off on the knight's might penguin steed, Pen-Pen and lived happily ever after.  
  
The End.  
  
As for what happened to the evil witch, she tripped on a rock as she had her head so high up that she didn't see where she was going. She fell over and broke her neck on a tree root. The tree indignant to such insult dropped a branch that looked suspiciously like a guitar which pierced through her cold, black heart.  
  
Truly the End.  
  
Okie dokie, nice wrap everybody. Especially you two, Shinji and Rei. This school play is gonna rock


End file.
